Volume I : Issue 6

Bartender Not Amused By Flirting Bar Guests

BATON ROUGE, LA —– Have you ever gone to a bar and flirted with that hot bartender residing there? Sure you have. Very seldom does a shift go by when 20 year old Pamela Brooks doesn’t have to deal with a flirtatious bar guest. However,  Brooks doesn’t seem as nearly amused as her bar guests like to think.

“I don’t know how much more I can stand,” exclaims a raging Brooks. “Day in and day out I have to deal with all of these male bar guests making all of these sexually explicit remarks. They think they’re being cute and all, but I’m not amused by any of it.”

Brooks’ bar guests on the other hand are on a different opinion. “That chick wants me” comments regular bar guest Bob Laurent (29). “Sure, I flirt with her in hopes of building up her self esteem a little bit, but I’m beginning to think that she really wants me. I like to break the ice with Pam by asking her ‘How you doing?’ in my best Italian accent. She’s always giggling and smiling whenever I do that. I don’t even have any Italian in me, and I sound Italian. It’s great! Of course,  I’m not looking for a relationship or anything, I’d just like to give her 2-3 minutes of hot loving. I figure that as long as I keep this up, I’ll be BTSWO in no time at all.”

In response to Laurent’s allegations, Brooks responded by saying, “My god! Bob is one of the worst! He’s always asking me to go back to his place or asking me what I want on my pancakes in the morning and so forth. That guy is old enough to be a distant relative.”

Insurance agent and former co-worker of Brooks by the name of Jeff Matte (25) was also available for questioning. “Pam? Oh yeah, that’s one chick I’d love to have one night with before I get married next Spring” says Matte. “I remember when Pam used to wear her tight shorts to work. Every time she did that, I would always ask her to climb on top of the bar to put the liquor away. Wow! Not only did it make my pants tight whenever she did that, but I think we actually got better tips when she did that as well.”

Brooks commented further by saying, “I used to put the liquor away because Jeff had seniority over me. I didn’t think that he was busy checking out my ass or anything. Now that I know, it makes me sick to think that he thought of me that way. That guy better hope that he doesn’t come back into this bar anytime soon, otherwise his dirty martini is going to be very dirty…if you know what I mean.”

When questioned about what it is about her bar guests’ flirting that she hated the most, Brooks replied, “It’s not so much the flirting that’s going on, as much as it is the lines that some people use. I mean, everyone loves to flirt every so often, but these unoriginal assholes need to come up with some better pick up lines if they think I’d even remotely consider jumping into bed with them.  I had some guy just the other day ask me if there was a keg in my pants because he wanted to tap that ass. How many times do you think I’ve heard that one? Some people think that just because I work behind a bar, I’m open game when it comes to their sexual desires, well it’s time I put my foot down.”

Brooks states that despite the flirting she receives from her bar guests, she’s going to remain an employee at the local Irish pub. “There’s no reason for me to quit” says Brooks. “I’ll just keep flirting back and making them think it’s working. Little do they know that I’m only doing it to pay my car note.”

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