Volume I : Issue 5

Pervert Misled By Movie Titles

BATON ROUGE, LA —– A second year law student and self-proclaimed pervert became outraged the other day when he became victim of yet another misleading movie title.

David Kennedy (29) enjoys movies as much as the next guy. Kennedy on the other hand prefers more exotic movie selections which adheres more towards a pornographic nature.

“I recently rented ‘Glad-He-Ate-Her’ from the local adult video store, and I have to say that I was thoroughly impressed by the compelling performances of some of the porno industry’s greatest actors and actresses” remarks Kennedy. “I’m so glad my friend Becky told me to rent it!”

“I never told him to rent that!” comments Becky Cresap (26). I told him to rent the Academy Award Winner ‘Gladiator’ starring Russell Crowe. “I don’t know what’s wrong with that guy, but it seems as if he has sex on the brain or something. So in an attempt to get one over on him, I invited him to accompany me to watch ‘Snatch’ at the movie theater, and let me tell you, he’s going to severely disappointed.”

“Despite the clever title, ‘Snatch’ isn’t what it’s cracked up to be” says Kennedy. “I was thinking that there would be plenty of lesbian scenes, only to find out that the movie had something to do with stealing a jewel or something. I should have known that Brad Pitt wouldn’t star in a porno.”

It appears that Kennedy has been the victim of misleading movie titles for quite some time now. Kennedy recalls the first time it happened to him by saying, “I remember going to go see Titanic. I thought any movie title with the word Tit in it had to at least have at least one set of Double-D’s. Nope. It was about some boat hitting an iceberg and sinking. Man, that sucked.”

Bob Laurent (29), another friend of Kennedy’s, was also available for questioning. “I remember David eagerly anticipating the theatrical release of ‘Blow’ ” says Laurent. “He went on and on about how he just couldn’t wait to see Penelope Cruz giving head. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was about drugs. I figured that he would just figure it out for himself.”

After attending the movie ‘Blow’, Kennedy commented by saying, “I was ripped off! How do these movie writers get away with all of these misleading movie titles? I thought about demanding my money back, but I didn’t know how the kids in line waiting to purchase tickets to see ‘Chicken Run’ were going to react when I started making remarks about the lack of blowjobs going on.”

When asked about his future plans, Kennedy answered, “I’m about to run over to Blockbuster to rent a video. A few friends of mine told me that ‘The Whole Nine Yards’ was a pretty good flick. I’ll tell you what though, if there isn’t some serious cock sucking going on in that thing, I’m going to be really pissed.”

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