Volume I : Issue 4

Moving Got You Down? Don’t Worry, Call Marc

BATON ROUGE, LA —– Let’s face it, no one enjoys moving. Moving is considered one of the most stressful events that a person can go through. What can a person do in order to help alleviate some of the stress involved with moving? Easy, just call Marc.

Marc Bieker (28) is as good of a friend as they get. Bieker will help you move, and since he lives at home, there’s no apparent danger of being asked to return the favor. It’s much like the sacrifice fly in baseball. A beautiful play that scores the run, and doesn’t count against your batting average.

When Bob Laurent (29) was asked about his recent moving experience, Bob said, “Pffft! My move was easy. Piece ‘o’ cake. I just called Marc up on his cell phone, and asked him to help. I couldn’t believe how quickly he was willing to just drop whatever the hell he was doing to help me move my furniture. Of course, I tried to complicate things a bit too. You see, the tricky part about my move was that I was also going to make Marc move my roommate’s stuff into mini-storage on one day, only have him move it into the new apartment two days later. My plan worked like a freaking charm, and all it cost me was 2 pints of beer and a couple of cheese sticks.”

Bieker was not immediately available for comment, but a spokesperson for Bieker states, “Marc is just one fine human being. I can’t believe he is so willing to blatantly misuse company resources, namely the truck, to help out a friend out. I’ve got a big load of manure that needs to be transported this weekend, and I only hope that Marc’s not busy helping someone else out.”

Another of Bieker’s close friends, James Carter (30) added, “I thought I was going to be up shit creek without a paddle when I decided to buy a house. I was talking with my wife about moving expenses and getting the new house ready and all, and she suggested that I call Marc. Boy, am I glad I did that. Not only did Marc help us move, but he even moved the piano that he claimed he would never ever move again. You’ve got to respect a guy that will move a piano for you despite his proclaimed fear of them. That man has balls, I tell you that.”

Bieker’s spokesperson adds, “The piano, yeah, I heard about that piano ordeal. He apparently hurt his back pretty bad when he was moving that monstrosity of an instrument. I don’t know why Jim even bothered moving that thing into his new house. From the way that thing looks, it would have looked better on the corner of Plank and Airline. But hey, it’s his house, I can’t help it if he thinks it’s classy.”

It seems, that in addition to helping friends move, Bieker has also been known to help out around the house. James Carter adds, “I can’t stand painting. In fact, I despise it. So what are you supposed to do? Let the paint peel completely off the wall? Nah, I just call Marc whenever I need something done around my house. Normally I just call him on his cell phone bright and early on a Saturday and ask him to come by and help. Even if I know I’m not going to be home, I just leave the key under the mat with directions for Marc and hope he has the job completed by the time I get back from the mall.”

In light of Bieker’s ever growing streak of being there for his friends, his girlfriend, Becky Cresap (26) commented by saying, “In a way, it’s kinda cool that he does that sort of stuff for his friends. If he’s willing to do that type of stuff for his friends, just think of what he’ll do for me. I’m thinking that I can probably get him to build me house out of match sticks if I asked him just right.”

Apparently the only person that has trouble getting Bieker to do anything is his mother Barbara. “I just don’t get it,” says Barbara Bieker, “Marc wakes up early, paints houses, moves pianos, and plays NTN Trivia, yet you ask him to mow the lawn and he thinks you’re asking him to part the Red Sea!”

Marc Bieker’s schedule is full for the next couple of weeks, but if the emergency is just right, and you really need to install that car stereo in a hurry, give him a call on his cell: 555-MARC. If he can’t get to it on the weekend, don’t fret, he’ll take a day off from work to accommodate you.

One Reply to “Volume I : Issue 4”

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