Volume I : Issue 2

December 9th, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments

Friends worried about Man’s Obsession with Karaoke

BATON ROUGE, LA —– Shocked by the recent performance of Bob Laurent (29) at a local bar, friends of Bob are becoming worried by his ever increasing obsession with karaoke.

“I just can’t see what he gets out of it,” says Becky Cresap (26), who has known Laurent for several years. “He doesn’t even sound all that good.”

Laurent on the other hand disagrees with Cresap. “I think I sound just like the artists do. I know how to do a mean Rick Springfield.”

Susan Low (27), also a friend of Laurent’s also expressed concern for her friend. “The guy is going nuts with this whole karaoke thing. I mean, I invited him out once to have a drink with me, before you know it, the guy is there all the time flipping through the book and looking for a song that fits the ‘mood’.”

When questioned about his fondness of karaoke, Laurent commented by saying, “I think it’s a cool way to meet chicks. Chicks love that Ricky Martin guy, and if I can imitate him to a T, then I figured I’ll be BTSWO in no time at all.”

Brian Flores (27) was also available for comment, “BTSWO? What the hell is that? Why does he always speak in code? I think this BTSWO business is some Survivor related thing. The guy refuses to tell me what it’s all about. Personally, I have never heard him sing karaoke, but I can only imagine that it’s not pretty by any stretch of the imagination.”

“I just don’t see how he thinks singing the theme from ‘Love Boat’ is going to help him pick up women,” says Cresap. “I see all of these women laughing, but they’re not laughing at the song selection, they’re laughing at how lame and out of tune Bob is. I love Bob to death, but maybe he would fair better by lip syncing instead.”

“At first I thought it was a joke,” says Low. “I heard Jessie’s Girl on the radio just the other day, and thought about Bob. I even called his apartment so I could leave some of the song on his answering machine, but he was home, so my attempt of making a joke was shattered. I was going to sing along with song too, just so he would maybe get an idea of just not only how bad he sounds, but how awful the song actually is to begin with.”

Laurent informed his friends of what to expect at his next performance. “I’m going to do Tommy Tu-Tone for my next gig. I mean, how hard is it to sing 867-5309 for 3 minutes? I’ll be an instant hit!”

In light of these recent events, Low and Cresap have decided that an intervention is in order. “We need to help Bob out. The guy is sinking lower and lower with the songs he selects,” reports Low. “Personally, I can’t stand George Michael, and when Bob is up there grinding to his music and screaming ‘I Want Your Sex’ at the top of his lungs, it makes me wish I hadn’t eaten dinner.”

  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.