Volume I : Issue 1

Man Filters Friend’s Email To Trash Bin, But Reads Them Anyway


BATON ROUGE, LA—– In an attempt to make a point to a friend, Brian Flores (27) decided to filter any and all email that was sent to him by his friend to the trash bin. However, curiosity got the best of Flores when he decided that he was going to read the filtered email anyway.

According to reports, the friend in question, Becky Cresap, began to respond to Flores’ emails using the French language. Flores did not take too kindly to this action, and threatened to filter her messages to the trash bin if she didn’t halt immediately.

“I can’t speak French”, said Flores. “I know English and a little Spanish, but this whole French thing was throwing me for a loop. Why on earth she chose a language that I did not know, was beyond me.” 

Cresap was not immediately available for questioning, but a spokesperson for Cresap going by the name of Julie Ryland offered input on her behalf. “Becky has always been a good friend of mine. I do not take kindly to Brian filtering her emails to begin with. Usually, I give Becky a few French statements to pass along here and there, but I didn’t think anyone would get seriously offended by them”.

The question still remains however as to why Flores would inform his friend that her emails were being filtered yet read them anyway. When asked about this strange turn of events, Flores answered, “I don’t know. I suppose I was a little bored. I like to say that I work at a high regulated job, and like to put down people who’s jobs I feel are inferior to mine. All I really wanted was a beer, but the antibiotics, and the inability to consume alcohol within 5 hours of being on site kind of destroyed my spirits for the day. You see, I work in a nuclear plant, and one bad mistake on my part could make things uninhabitable for the people living in the surrounding community.”

When asked about his job description, Flores answered, “I’m a tech that sits at a desk all day. I basically send emails to friends, check out the sports scores on espn.com, and occasionally smoke a cigarette. It’s really nothing that I find really mind boggling to say the least, I just look forward to the end of the day so I can get my ass kicked in trivia at the local Irish pub.”

When questioned about the current status of the friendship between Cresap and himself, Flores answered, “We’ll see how it goes. I’m going to continue to filter her email to the trash bin and read them, but that’s only because she lacks common sense because she’s dating a friend of mine.”

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