Bob Laurent’s Day Off…
I took a day off from work yesterday. Yeah, I told my wife that I was going to take a day off and get likes tons of stuff done. Damnit, I was going to be all responsible and be a good husband and it would be all neat and stuff.
The conversation went sorta like this: “I’m going to take the day off and get some stuff done around the house today. I’m going to do laundry, I’m going to hang that ceiling fan in the spare room, I’m going to bring Taz and Shaft to the vet, I’m going to go to Wal-Mart, I’m going to pick Trace up from school, I’m going to clean the kitchen, and I’m going to cut the grass. Here I am, saying that I’m going to do all this stuff, but I won’t have time to get it all done, but I’m going to do my best.”
So, how did the day turn out? Well, despite the fact that I was taking the day off, I still managed to wake up before the alarm clock. I decided to let my wife sleep a little longer and got up and did the daily ritual of getting Trace up and off to school. I then throw some stuff into a crock pot so dinner can cook throughout the day. As my wife was dressing for work, I began to gather the animals for the trip to the vet.
Getting Taz (the extremely fat chihuahua) into the car is as easy as luring him with a dog treat. Yeah, like he needs another dog treat. Getting Shaft into the cat carrier was a feat all unto itself. He’s the only one of our cats that still has his front claws and he intended to use them. He weighs like 15 pounds and he’s solid. Shaft has learned how to use his appendages to keep me from pushing him into the cat carrier. I was kinda like, “Come on! It’s not like I put you into this thing all of the time!” After I managed to squeeze him in, he began to howl. His howling is not pleasant to say the least.
So I get to the vet with the intention of leaving them there for the day and heading off to Wal-Mart. The receptionist chick tells me that they will see my pets now, so I decided to wait. So I go into the little room with Taz and Shaft and the woman shows me an easier way to get Shaft in and out of the cat carrier. Apparently, I wasn’t aware of what those little knobs and crap were on the outside of the carrier that will allow the top and bottom of the carrier to separate. Go figure, I’ve had that carrier for 10 years and I’m finally learning how to use it. I’m not going to go into details of the trip to the vet. Let’s just say that my pets didn’t care for getting their temperature taken and I consider myself grateful that my temperature can be taken by putting a thermometer in my mouth.
So, the trip to Wal-Mart is out because well, I have the pets in the car. So I bring them home. I took the advice of a friend and cracked open a beer. As a sat in my spot on the couch, I thought, “You know, you should really try and catch up on one of those episodes of Smallville”. So I did. Afterwards, I noticed that I still had like 5 more episodes to catch up on, but thought that I should really watch that movie that Susan doesn’t care to see so I can get a new one from Netflix. So I put “The Grudge 2″ on and began watching it. I wasn’t impressed. Any horror movie where I began to drift off to sleep isn’t worthy of any mentioning.
I look at the clock and see that it’s a little after 1 now. Crap, I have a den meeting tonight. I’m going to have to go to Wal-Mart anyway. So I hop in the shower and head over to Wal-Mart. I then decide to pick Trace up from school on the way home. By now it’s 3:30 or so. I decide to make an attempt at doing laundry, but end up only changing our sheets.
I then sit down and watch another episode of Smallville. Trace comes home from playing and we head off to the den meeting.
Later that evening, Susan asks, “So what did you do today on your day off?”
“Ummm, I took the pets to the vet, watched Smallville, watched The Grudge 2, drank a beer, went to Wal-Mart, picked up Trace from school, watched Smallville and uhhhh, I think that’s it.”
She then responded with, “So you pretty much slacked off today?”
Yeah, pretty much. Leisure Rules.