Lately, I’ve become more and more active on Facebook. Don’t get me wrong however, I don’t sit on it all day, but I try my best at updating my status regularly and so forth. Facebook had done two things for me. The first of which was to reconnect with former classmates.
Looking back at my childhood, my fondest memories are the ones from my years at Vernon C Haynes Jr High School. Haynes is a magnet school now, but back when I was there, it wasn’t. I had some truly great classmates back then. A lot of good memories to reflect back on. I made some good, solid, and quality bonds with some of my classmates back then. I truly felt sad during my last few days on my ninth grade year, knowing that the classmates that I had was about to be split among different high schools in the area. I took steps to make sure that I got to stick with my best friend through high school and attend East Jefferson. Even though I got to continue on with David, I knew I would lose contact with great friends like Richard Howe and Eddie Painter. I was fortunate enough however to know that at least some of my classmates from Jr High were going on to East Jefferson as well, but not all of them.
Facebook has allowed me to see what all of those former classmates of mine are up to. I truly enjoy thinking back and reminiscing of those days of old.
However, Facebook also reminds me of the days where I was in a dark place. The years that followed the glorious days of Haynes (specifically my years at EJ) were very hard on me. I went through a lot of inner turmoil and emotions that I have up to this point repressed.
During the early months of my Junior year, I suffered the loss of a dear friend in a car accident. I still think of her to this day, and I still pledge to memoralize her in some way. A couple of months later, my mom got a transfer to Baton Rouge. She had informed me that I would have to pick up and move and start fresh. I wasn’t having any of that as I begged and pleaded for her to find some way to keep me from starting over. She agreed to allow me to stay with my grandmother so that I wouldn’t have to change high schools midway through. A couple of months later, my friends had talked me into running for Senior Class president. Unfortunately, I lost. During my campaign however, I managed to alienate myself from the majority of the class of ‘89. Granted, I still had some good friends at EJ, some that I appreciate for not turning their backs on me. I pissed some people off. A lot of them. It was at this point where that move to Baton Rouge was becoming appealing. But my friends stood behind me. I truly enjoyed that. That’s what made them my friends. It was only after the election that some of the ones that I pissed off approached me and asked that I become part of the Senior Class council the following year. I heartily agreed as it showed acceptance on their behalf.
When my Senior year started, I stayed with my grandmother again. I enjoyed the good times that seniors enjoy (i.e. Ring Day). But right before Christmas of 1988, my grandmother had passed away. I was shattered. My uncle and my older brother were staying at the house, so I could continue to stay there as well and finish off the last few months of high school. But it was hard. Very hard. I had no direction. I lost focus. My grades began to slip. And the relationships that I had formed with friends outside of school began to deteriorate.
I think that’s what gets me the most. I didn’t care about who I pissed off at EJ because I thought I had a great group of friends outside of school. Weekly plans of hanging out with this circle of friends grew dismal. I was gradually faded out of the circle along with my friend Kevin. It almost seemed like we became the outcasts. The phone calls that I normally get inviting me to this place and that, stopped. I had no idea why, but I knew I had Kevin. Kevin stood by me and we hung out more and more. We became family.
When graduation day came, I shed numerous tears when my mom informed me that she wouldn’t be able to make it to the ceremony. Both my uncle and brother would also be unable to attend. I was lost and alone. Kevin was there though. He made sure I got there. And even though he knew David, I kinda felt like he was there for me. I appreciated that.
So here I am. Going on and on about what Facebook has done for me. I am grateful for being able to catch up with friends of old. I just wish it wouldn’t have brought up some of these old feelings that I repressed so long ago. Things that were unresolved and will continue to be unresolved. I only hope that I can find a way of blocking those things out again.